Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
