Dual....:-)
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
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i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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