tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
