I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
vagina is talking i cant
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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