I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
