so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
