I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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