I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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