apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
