Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
