wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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