why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
