I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
