i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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