I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
