It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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