I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize