What a fucking waste of an outfit
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
