Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
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