you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
