I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Randomize
