ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't deserve a penis
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
