Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize