Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
