I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
