Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
