I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
