im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It was confusing and full of hummus
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
