people are starting to question the shark bite story
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Holy sore nipples Batman
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
