Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
