haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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