Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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