Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize