Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
