I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize