pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
