I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing