Whod you bang
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"