Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?