I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.