Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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