She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
