This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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