some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Will exercising make me less horny?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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