just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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