There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
