good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
