New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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