i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
