it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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