Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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