they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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