i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
