absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
barbara walters just said penis...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
