Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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