apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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