I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
