Girls should come with a carfax report
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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