The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
