There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do cheetos always look like penises
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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