new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
