like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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