Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
